The Washington Post reports that in a study sponsored by LinkedIn and Citi, "79 percent of men equate 'having it all' with being in a 'strong, loving marriage' while just 66 percent of women think the same. Men include children in their definition of success far more than women do, with 86 percent saying it’s part of the 'having it all' ideal versus just 73 percent of women. And both men and women value work-life balance in fairly equal numbers—with a few more men (50 percent) than women (48 percent) calling it a major concern."
- KC's View:
News flash! You can't "have it all."
And if men think so, they're also more delusional than women.
Not to put men down. It's just that we tend to evolve - or marinate - more slowly than women. So we're just now getting to the point where we are accepting the notion that we need to be more than hunters and gatherers … we also have parental responsibilities, and have to be nurturers.
Women have been dealing with whole "having it all" question for a lot longer, and I think most have accepted the idea that it isn't really possible … that you do the best you can, you play the cards you're dealt, and you find out that if you stop whining about having it all, you actually have more time and energy to accomplish more on both professional and personal fronts.
(But "all"? Forget about it. Almost nobody gets to have it all. I am reminded of the scene in Broadcast News when William Hurt's Tom Grunnick says to Albert Brooks' Aaron Altman, "What do you do when your real life exceeds your dreams?" And Altman responds: "Keep it to yourself.")
Maybe guys just haven't gotten there yet. We're finding out that there is a bigger world than we thought there was, and we're deluding ourselves into thinking that we can have it all.
It is healthy thing, I think, that men start to expand their roles and expectations. Now, all we have to do is make sure that we don't whine about how hard it is to have to all. We just have to make our choices, set our priorities, say what we'll do and then do what we say, and live with the results instead of complaining.